You chose what happened to you. Did I?

I’d like to return to a point that is heard more and more in spiritual circles. According to certain schools of thought, the soul chooses everything that happens to it. It does so in order to grow, to return to love and to draw closer to the Divine. We would therefore be the creators of each trial and we would have chosen each trauma.

And this is a belief that is being adopted more and more, and heard more and more. I’m not saying whether it’s true or not. What I want to ask is: how do we feel? How do you feel when someone says to you ‘well, you’ve made a choice’ or ‘well, I don’t know what you’ve chosen to go through, but…’.

But what is it? And no, you don’t have the slightest idea of what I’ve chosen to go through in my subconscious because I don’t have the slightest idea myself.

So whether or not this is true in the so-called “higher” worlds, since the soul would have no notion of good and evil, I’d like us to stop here for a few minutes.

As incarnated humans, we are only just discovering our bodies. It was only a few years ago that we discovered the fascias, and today we hear everywhere about the nervous system and its impact on our psyche and our relationship with the world.

We are only just beginning to make the connection between science and the invisible, and we are only just beginning to explore our knowledge of the planet we live on and its infinite intelligence. At the same time, we are navigating in a so-called “spiritual” world that sometimes resembles an amusement park where everyone can put down whatever truths they wish. And there are many, many, many truths. Everyone has become a medium and we’re all looking to become super-human spiritual beings who are super-connected and, above all, super-high.

In short, all this to say that we’re taking the liberty of laying down truths about the path of the soul and of being when we’re a long way from knowing ourselves. So can we understand how the universe works in its subtle language? I think we’re a long way from that. I’m not saying that nothing is true. But I would like to call for fundamental vigilance in a world of knowing. Because of course we can have access to fields of information, but that doesn’t mean we “know” EVERYTHING.

So saying to someone who has just been through a painful episode, or is in the middle of one, or is exploring childhood traumas: ‘well, you chose anyway’ is in no way benevolent. It’s like a nice coated chocolate, but inside it doesn’t taste good. The coating has a colour of compassion and universal love. But inside it’s a bit rancid and bitter.

For my part, when I hear this, for myself or for people close to me, it makes me feel angry, very angry. Because I hear a door slamming and saying ‘deal with your suffering, it’s your responsibility’. And that opens another door to an avalanche of ready-made phrases and negations of being such as ‘you don’t vibrate’, ‘you’re loaded’, stories of karma, ‘the Divine wants you to learn your lesson’ and a whole list to which I’ll return later.

And the list is long.

These are toxic phrases, which don’t help us through the suffering, but hammer the nail in where it already hurts, and bring additional loneliness where support is needed.

The danger is that by following so-called “spiritual” currents, we adopt ready-made beliefs that spread like wildfire. And since everyone says it, there must be some truth in it.

That’s why it’s so important to connect with what you’re feeling. There may not be a supra cosmic divine revelation, but at least a space of humanity in which our loved ones know they can count on us, that they have a shoulder to cry on, to rest on and to talk about what they’re going through. We don’t really care if the soul has chosen or not. No one can know that for sure. But a heart knows when it’s being supported at a difficult time.

And I don’t know anyone who was comforted by that sentence…

So, when we can, if we can, let’s be vigilant about dangerous shortcuts and put some common sense back into the words we offer to others, by listening to the inner spaces they come from.

More to come…